Sometimes, I think, I get a thrill out of breaking out of stereotypes. There's a certain look I get from people when they meet me for the first time. Apprehension nearly always covers it all. Doubt, suspicion, and alas, a very common one is also condescension. Granted, I don't always look the part. And I think when people see a piece of cloth around your head, they immediately associate you with someone traditional, and very un-intelligent. The extreme ones; it never occurs to them that we have hair underneath. And that we're not secretly anarchists or skinheads under the cloth.   

And then the priceless look of surprise that crosses their faces when they overcome their fear, or their egos enough to talk to me and find out even a random tiny morsel about who I really am.   Yes, astonishment, surprise.. wonder, even. And I can see them literally take a step back to re-judge this strange-looking woman. And I just sit there and smile, it gives me great pleasure to burst their little bubbles of pre-conceived judgements about "Us Malays". 

They expect me to be quiet, to know nothing, to have no opinions like a good old traditional housewife. But I'm not like that. I certainly don't wear my political views on my sleeve although I wear my religious view on my head. And that's about as vocal as as I get in public. But personally, you don't challenge my moral or political ideals and expect to get away with it. 

It's already near the end of the 3rd week and I could say I have gotten comfortable. Gone are the days of endless wandering, twiddling with random levers and knobs when nobody is looking. Mainly because there are no more unchartered territories. No corner left unexplored. No stone left unturned. Well, not exactly. 

I've been swamped with so many things to do that sometimes, I don't even have time to go to the loo! And everything is urgent, important, immediately needed. So much so, that I simply have to cut some corners. Some photos are not as perfect as I would have preferred. And sometimes, following instructions to a tee, is exactly the opposite of what is expected.  And every single mistake has the potential to pose detrimental risk to the company's future. Furthermore, mistakes made are answerable directly to the client! And the client's client. I screw up = some random designer's ad screwed up = some company's ad screwed up = unhappiness = complain to designer = complain to my boss = uh, hell for me? Okay, not necessarily hell for me. I don't / haven't gotten anything beyond a "Hmm, take note of this next time" but he has to make some rather uncomfortable calls, to explain things but so far he hasn't pulled the "my intern screwed up!" card on me, but anyway. I've only minorly screwed up one project. Hahah.  

What is needed is precision. Accurate accuracy. Sharper than sharp. You stare and squint and focus, re-focus so many times that you feel like you're going blind! And the loud snapping sound of the flash and the shrill beep that follows as the data transfers to the com are permanently imprinted in my mind. And then the smelly fish and smellier oysters. And the bottles and bottles of wine! And the endless clicking sounds that fill up the place on slow mornings. 

In a good week, I get to meet so many interesting people.

Not always a good experience but it's always good to meet new people, I think. That would make a good week. So far, this week had been slow and lazy and omg, majorly sleepy! I'd sneak tiny shut-eyes between clicks on the computer, taking full advantage of Uncle's advice to rest the eyes every now and then. Haha! And his advice that I shouldn't drink bottled mineral water too often. And that I should walk around once in awhile for the sake of my back. And that I should take early lunch. And that I shouldn't need to stay back for overtime because I shouldn't miss dinner. If it was up to him, I probably shouldn't need to do work at all! Hahah! 

Ah well. I'm hoping and trying my hardest not to repeat any stupid mistakes. They might not get angry, but I don't want to push my luck. Holding my breath for 5 weeks more! 

(you might want to open another window from youtube, if that's faster) 

Enjoy. 

But I'm fairly certain I can get into this routine. It's just a matter of time. 2 months will fly. I think. Aaaaand. There's a straight bus from work to PP! WHOOHOO! (: 

I'm used to routines even more impossible than this... so this should be a breeze, I think. but let's just see how. 

Maaaaaybe, I don't want to make it a big deal but it hurts, a bit. I'm a little disappointed, of course, that things did not turn out as expected. 

Not appreciated. Again. 

It's crystal, at this point, the priorities in some people's lives and I know I shouldn't feel miffed, but I had hoped that maybe it had meant more. But I know, it was silly of me to think that spending three quarter of my already measly salary actually meant something. 

Of course.

And I should honestly stop caring. 

Anyway, I played tennis with some friends 2 days back. It was only after feeling a dull ache in my wrist that I remembered what the tennis coach had once told me. About ... WOW...  3 years ago! That you're supposed to swing all the way through. And I remembered how I loved the "puckkk!" sound that came when the ball made contact with the racket. 

I would have loved to say that it was a good game of tennis, but as anyone would have guessed, my racket-handling skills have come a long long long way as compared to 2 or 3 years ago. Hahah! However, I never said it was not enjoyable. Many funny lousy games of tennis. 

We decided , then, that tennis was out. Since we were already such pros at it. (: 

We will possibly be conquering wild wild wet next before P flies home. But then again, internship starts in 2 days. I doubt I will be physically capable to do anything more than juggle my 4 jobs. 

But who knows? (: 

They tell me I'm crazy. But I just feel that I really need to run away. From reality.