>11:06 PM
>1:18 AM
A HTHT with a friend who recently just went back to France made me realise that wow, I apparently have a spy there. (Not that I'm spying or anything, you understand?)
And Spy says I should write a letter... HAHAHA!
In total, 6 people have been telling me to write a letter. That's actually ... sheesh, every single person I told the problem to.
A-mazing.
Also, Spy says some pretty contradicting stuff like, "How would you know it's a lie?" and "Yeah, he doesn't usually mean what he says" in the same sentence. Right. She was pretty adamant about the fact that he's not seeing anyone else, and therefore, not cheating. But tells me in the next breath that they're going clubbing together later at night. Just as friends, of course. (Not that I care. Really. But it's just funny, no?)
Haha! Just who exactly are we kidding?
>12:54 AM
Think about it.
Christmas is the most successful viral campaigns ever.
And the beauty of it is that it involves everyone and yet, no one.
"Let's launch christmas! We'll have the lights as teaser, the sales and promotions as prelaunch and then BAM! Christmas is launched on the 25th! Boxing day and the new year makes a nice post launch. You know, just to squeeze the rest of the Xmas cheer from the poor sucker consumers."
Well yes. I'm thinking from an advertisers viewpoint. Not meant to be blasphemous or anything. But. Funny Eh, to think about it that way.
Libellés : school
>12:18 AM
Question #009:
What if the remote controls for humans really existed?
It would be quite convenient to mute the loud and annoying people on certain modes of public transport. Not to mention clicking pause on stupid characters who refuse to give way.. but no, nothing short of a battering ram would do for them.
So. We had to discuss about social media and the nasty impacts on advertising.
Someone said to me once that blogs are pointless based on the unfair generalisation that bloggers only talk about themselves.
Actually, I agree. Blogs, i.e. social media is quite pointless and damaging to the fabric of society by causing people to be selfish and anti-social and killing their interpersonal skills. Some people are so happy, shiny, haha-funny online but are total blahs in real life whose voices you rarely get to hear on account of their timidity.
I'm not sure it's a bad thing for them; social media gives them a platform to unleash their true selves onto the world. But... can you confidently say that these people are not putting on a fake virtual front?
I've always felt that those who are overly active, and social on the networks are the ones who really lack a social life. Ironic though it may seem.
If you have the time to post every aspect of your day, down to what you eat for breakfast and what comes out in the toilet... I think you'd be too busy entertaining the virtual friends to pay much attention to the real breathing humans you're with.. Of course, that's a personal opinion.
And what really gets my goat (haha, I just HAD to use that, thanks mum) is when you're out with someone and they keep fiddling with their phones.
Rude, much?
Okay, so yes, I do that too sometimes. I never claimed to be perfect. And on a totally different note, it's proven, no?
We hate in others, what we hate most in ourselves.
So just an advice, off the cuff (man, I'm on a roll with the proverbs today)
Reflect often.
If there's something you hate with a passion, surprise! Chances are, you're doing it too.
>3:31 AM
Thank you tasman.
So. I'm in a dilemma that most people wouldn't even face until they've lived half a century, if at all. And I'm sick of whining about this but the real reason is that I'm terrified out of my wits. The apprehension is palpable!
I've been discharged from the ortho clinic since, I quote: "There's nothing else we can do for you since you don't want surgery." and not really because I healed up nicely like a good young fella should.
I told the mother and the nurse sister and they immediately said, "why don't you want surgery?!"
And I thought of my long painful days hauling ass to and from the sports science rehab centre. The full days spent with the therapist on various menacing machines. The nights with my knee strapped to an ice bucket. It was a long long long year of recovery. And the pain from post ops never really goes away. It still comes back to haunt you some days. And I still need to ice my knee after a day in heels.
After all that, you want me to rinse and repeat?? And this time, with a higher risk and more post op pain?
Really. They don't understand what it is they're asking me to put myself through. Again.
It's apparently another keyhole surgery. But keyhole surgeries are so misleading. For such a tiny scar, it generates a whole world of internal pain.
Dammit. So what now?
To cut or not to cut?
>2:28 AM
I didn't realise this would feel
much like rubbing salt to a wound.
I hate the time of the month when emotions get messed up in my head.
Because I can't tell how much of it is real and how much of it is really just a hormonal swing.
I get angry, then sad the next minute, and then I laugh and joke and then I get frustrated and then furious. I try to ignore it. But it's as effective as trying to ignore the huge white elephant in the room.
I'm listening to classic love songs for inspiration and well what dyou know, the emotional rollercoaster seems to get stuck at depressed.
Who the hell started the trend of depressing love songs?
A random FB friend is offering to help me think up ideas for my Love Ikea campaign and I think it's a w k w a r d . But he's giving me 30 ideas on how a man behaves when he falls in love. And actually, it's more than useful so I shall just shut up about the oddity of discussing love with a random stranger.
Okay. So sue me, maybe the only reason I'm even talking to him is because he apparently has truckloads of disposable income from what I know and that he actually seems like a nice person. YES. I am apparently superficial. But I have a weakness for people who put their marketing degrees to good use by throwing ideas my way. HAHAH
Anyway. Since I'm sufficiently cheered up thanks to my idea donor, I had a bit of space in my brain to consider this next question.
Question #008:
What if humans had batteries that need to be plugged into a socket to charge?
I wouldn't mind carrying around extra battery packs. I wished we didn't need sleep.
>2:08 AM
You make me want to grind my expensive braces-corrected teeth down to nothing.
*
>10:39 PM
"Is it possible to be a nice, quiet person in the advertising industry?" I asked.
She shook her head vehemently.
"You can be nice, but not too nice until you get bullied," she said, giving W ilson a sideways glance.
I snuck a peak at W ilson beside me to see if he noticed. Nope. Still happily eating and ignoring the world.
"And quiet?" she continued, "Nobody will like you if you're too quiet. You can be a happy-go-lucky person but don't be too nice, or too quiet."
And that's it. My curiosity got piqued and the old journalist (who never really went away) started to take over.
"Hmm... then why did you choose to go into this industry?" I asked.
"I didn't start out immediately in advertising. My background was in graphic... but after a few years on the job, I got sick of it. There's no challenge in being told what to design." she said, with a shrug. "So I got a job at an ad agency as a visualiser, then worked my way up to a senior art director."
I was beginning to think that this woman is truly an inspiration because no matter how nonchalant her tone was when describing her life story, I am quite sure that nobody gets to art director in 2 years without battle scars.
"Wow... 2 years? Isn't that really fast?" I ventured to ask.
"Mmhmm." she said, again with a shrug. So I figured she wasn't going to be more forthcoming on this topic. I started thinking about something else...
"Wait. So advertising... it's also something like marketing, right? Is it the same, the business advertising and what we're doing now?"
I learnt by heart the principles of marketing and business theories during my short stint in France. (Merci, M. Ortelli!) And I thought that maybe... there's more value in that cert where I'm going.
But no. She shook her head. "No no no no! It's totally different!"
Ohwell. There goes my 10 seconds of hope.
"The business side of advertising is more towards marketing. Usually, account executives. The only similarity is that you get to write the brief that we're doing now as account executives. But advertising design is totally different from business."
"Oh," I said, "yeaaah. It's different. I did business for awhile..." totally thinking of the dusty chalkboard and rusty chairs in the university classrooms in France.
"I did economics before..." she said suddenly.
"Wait. Whaaaaaaatttttt?" My eyebrows jumped up in surprise, "that's, uh, very different!"
She gave a tight smile. "I tried for awhile but my goodness, cannot tahan. My father wanted me to be a banker, " she explained.
Haha! I guess all parents are made from the same mould.
She continued, "He thought that bankers can make a lot of money but design? There's no money in design."
"Well yeah," I said. "Bankers DO make a lot of money."
She went on to talk about what she would have loved to do if grades and money weren't an objection. And I told her what my first choice in life had been. And I realised that, there's not really that much of a difference in all our lives.
We all want something we cannot get, no matter how hard we strive to achieve it. Just because we decide to settle with our lesser 2nd choices, does not mean we're any lesser. It just makes us more practical. And nobody said you can't bust your ass to make the most of your 2nd choice.
I guess the advice is to stop whining and make the most with what you have right now.
>3:06 PM
At my look of horror, a smile twitched on my lecturer's lips and she said, "Well... Perhaps you should ask Anthony or him," she said, raising an eyebrow at yyp behind me. "Ask them what it feels like to fall in love."
I promptly burst into a I-can't-believe-she-just-said-that guffaw.
Haha and yes, I was, in fact, consulting her about my campaign brief. I swear, we weren't gossiping. Much. Hahah!
Anyway. I've been behind with my questions thanks to the evils of school so here's one.
In the first advert lecture, J said that we've all sold our souls to the devil. I guess those are just fancy words for "you're all dead". And speaking of dead...
Question #007:
What if we could choose how we die? What would your choice be?
For the longest time, my choice was to die in an explosion. Rationale being that it'll be over in an instant and there aren't even enough parts of me left to fill a grave. But after a dinner discussion with S, we agreed that perhaps the best way to leave is not with a bang. We discussed how painful each cause of death would be and decided that it's best to die in our sleep.
***
The right knee is swollen and unstable.
The disc bulge in my back is protruding again. and fabulous nerve fireworks are shooting back and forth between the back and the right toes, not forgetting the sting in the right calf and the right ITB.
It seems my body can't wait to age. And I've tried high calcium protein diets. I've tried glucosamine but even the doctors seem to think it weird that my injuries don't heal after so many years. All the more reason to kill Kinabalu now before the body deteriorates.
Time to reacquaint myself with ol jennifer's torturous Physio training gym sets.
But that would actually mean going to the gym.
Shit.
Libellés : AQAD
>9:18 PM
As expected, I fall victim to the "overthinking" syndrome.
***
And I do realise I haven't been posting my questions. I figured that perhaps, I've earned a well-deserved break from thinking, at least for the weekend.
Here's a question:
Question #006:
If you had to give up one of your 5 senses, which would it be?
I think my personal choice would be the sense of taste.
I'm not sure of its importance in the grand scheme of things and apart from a seriously sad palate, life functions pretty much normally.
I can still fulfill my life's ambitions, career, designs whatever. It doesn't affect the way I communicate.
Okay, so maybe I won't be able to tell between a banana and a chilli but hey, at least I can see the difference! And SMELL the difference, just not taste it. And don't give me scientific crap about how the sense of taste is connected to the sense of smell because in random, hypothetical situations, anything is, say, hypothetically possible.
Libellés : AQAD
>11:33 PM
يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّوْمُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيْثُ
فَاصْلِحْ لِيْ شَأْنِيْ، وَلا تَكِلْنيْ إِلىَ نَفْسِيُ طَرْ فَةَ عَيْنٍ
>3:35 PM
I know absolutely shit nothing about bikes but you've got to admit that R's bike is pretty cool.
Also, reunion number 3 of 2011 was a casual, relaxed affair over at jas's. I hate the fact that I feel out of place among them because I know it's mostly my long absence and my aloofness thats making me feel that way. I wish it could be better but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be fixing. An attitude adjustment is definitely needed.
I've also been wondering.
Is it my fault that I keep seeing the past being superimposed onto the present?
Is it my poor visionary skills and my lacking skill in character judgment?
Or is it the fact that emotional scars never heal, and that they just scab over, bleeding again occasionally when you rub it too hard?
Yes. Call me an egoist but I believe it's the latter. And that's also the reason why I've this illogical, misplaced hatred burning in me whenever I see your face. You're the face of past evils reincarnated.
And no, I don't think it's the disrespect you dole out to people. I don't think it's the condescending catch phrases you dish out.
Because your mannerisms remind me so much of a person who gave me a deep emotional wound, I just can't see past the negativity.
Every little thing you do burns me a whole lot more.
Right now, I'm really beginning to see why patience is a virtue and that only saints have never ending bucket loads of it.
>2:15 AM
I feel so exhausted that I couldn't even manage to post up my question of the day last night. And while I was typing this, I changed my mind, took out my ad notes and started thinking instead. And left this post as an abandoned tab for hours.
I've been cracking my head open with research and you wonder if maybe I'll regret my choice. But actually, I secretly love thinking. I relish the opportunity to shape my thoughts around an idea, chewing it over and over in my brain to make it something easier to swallow.
I haven't drawn/ sketched/ scamped any visuals at all this past week and as impossible as it may seem, I think it's perfect. I love it.
And speaking of love, I've been thinking of emotions and thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes, there's just no way of describing, be it visually or verbally, how you feel inside. And you may be feeling horrible and down in the dumps but the words "I feel like shit" doesn't quite cut it.
Happens to me all the time and then I'll just throw in a "Argh, I don't know how I feel!" to sum things up.
But that's not exactly true either. Because the fact is that you DO know how you feel, you're just incapable of expressing it in the very limited vocabulary of the verbal language. Sometimes, I just wish other people could read the thoughts and feelings straight from the brain.
Which begs the question...
Question #004:
What if human brains had telepathy
that work like bluetooth signals?
I've always been interested in telepathy and mind reading. But if technology can pave the way for something as esoteric as thoughts to be transmitted like data... man, that would culminate in the explosion of bio-design.
Speaking of bio-design and sustainability... (and also to make up for the lost night yesterday)
Question #005:
What if we could genetically
modify plants to take the place of artificial man-made products?
Imagine grass hard enough to replace tar in paving roads.
Imagine wood hard, light and durable enough to build cars with.
Imagine a heat resisting tree!
Imagine having to modify dna to make shapes with trees instead of hacking them.
Like, tweaking a tiny bit of the dna to make the tree grow chair-shaped, or house shaped!
Huh. And I'm not sure if my imagination is running a little too wild these days or if this is a side effect of exhaustion.
Design thinking, everybody!
Libellés : AQAD
>3:30 AM
"They call me a monkey wrench, but I'm no monkey... and don't get me started on the screwdrivers. Those guys don't drive! They don't even have cars!"
- Rusty, the wrench in Handy Manny.
Okay, yes. I should start worrying about my sanity seeing as my inspiration comes from a Playhouse Disney cartoon character. But it brings me to today's question.
Question #003:
What if inanimate objects
could speak?
I would very much like to have a nice decent conversation with the trees.
Or the wind.
More importantly though. If they could speak, what would they say?
Libellés : AQAD
>1:55 AM
Freaks. This is cool.
>10:09 PM
Clearing out my desk the other day, I was shocked. I found a big fat file full of H2 Physics notes. And I took to flipping those yellowed well-loved pages. I found myself at a formula page, the kind they attach to exam papers.
Those arcane symbols once upon a time meant more to me than a vague pang of half-forgotten memories. There was a time in my recent history when I remembered the importance of those symbols.
Well, I'm disappointed to say that apart from a tiny wave of resonance it struck in the recesses of my cerebrum, none makes sense to me now... but one.
s=ut+1/2at^2
Distance = (initial speed x time) + 1/2 (acceleration x time x time)
And it brings me to today's question.
Question #002:
What if there was
a secret formula to life?
Life = (happiness + sorrow + anger + tragedy ) x time ?
As F once mentioned, if only there was a cheatcode to a successful life, with a 100% success rate.
I'm not talking about self-motivation books.
I'm thinking along the lines of the mother of all to-do lists.
Well, obviously, God sent us to earth for a purpose that, as yet, many are still searching.
What if we're born with the to-do lists.
Imagine an electronic ipad-like thingy that flashes the next step in your life when you complete a mission.
Or, say, a voice in your head booms out the next step in life to take.
Or a "vision" of your next step flashes before your eyes.
And a failed mission can either be aborted or replayed.
No more indecision.
No more regrets.
No more living with the consequences of your failed actions.
Life would be like one gloriously monotonous role playing game.
That would be so - wait for it - legendary.
Libellés : AQAD
>2:07 AM
Question #001:
What if there wasn't such a thing as memories?
A clean slate everyday might be pretty cool.
Module guides are finally out.
Hit the ground running.
Libellés : AQAD
>12:24 AM
The only purpose of this is so that the previous post is not overlapped by the tagboard.
I remembered a discussion A and I had a couple of years back over coffee and good cakes. (Yes, face it, brilliant masterplans ALWAYS hatch under the dingy cafe lights and the influence of caffeine pumping in your veins.)
Anyway.
It was one of those "what if" questions.
"What if plastics were made from prawn shells? Wouldn't that make them biodegradable?"
We thought about how brilliant it would be and how it would solve all these worldly greivances about sustainability, no?
If stupid flyers and billboards were made of prawn shells.. well, that would make a rather interesting advertising medium.
And then... Would it be possible to advertise on food?
Hm. Not advertise food.... but use food as a medium of advertising.
It is ultimately biodegradable, no qualms about it being sustainable. Man, its just food that would be eaten anyway. Important thing is that the message gets put across, no?
What if cows could fly?
Wouldn't it be awesome to be raining milk? Granted, it would be a little sticky but well worth it.
And well what if water is a medium of message?
I don't know why I never thought of this before but this brings me to a whole new chapter.
Yes! A new personal project that is even more liberating than dada!
A question a day. For 100 days.
Bear in mind I'm not looking for answers. Just "what if" questions.
And suddenly I feel a sense of purpose in my life.
For all you know, one of those questions will change the world.
The Wright brothers wondered, "What if humans could fly" and bamshamkazam, the aviation industry.
Change the world, one step at a time, starting now.
Libellés : AQAD
>3:55 AM
>2:13 AM
When I read through my old posts, there is an obvious lack of consistency. But then again, that's probably the purpose of this space anyway.
Here's a random question:
What were you doing the last time you had the time of your life?
Whatever it was, I'm guessing it probably involved something fun, maybe lots of talking and laughing.
Preferably over food.
Or maybe that's just me.
Is it possible to have the time of your life when you're sitting alone peacefully?
I'd say why not... but wouldn't that be every other moment in life?
It kinda shows the extent to which we're dependent on people, no?
I'm not trying to be a coffee snob but I've recently discovered the 'joys' of decaf.
And people can stop nagging about my coffee consumption now, too.
But. Well. It just lacks a certain kick. The kind of kick that rearranges your braincells, pokes playfully at your temples, increases your pulse and relaxes your mind.
It's much like drinking coffee-flavoured water. But for what it's worth, unless you know what to look for, the tastebuds really can't tell!
>3:00 AM
You've inspired me to keep going on.
With this.
Thus time it actually means something.
Crack the code if you have nothing better to do.
فكرنكو بينعونع. اكو مو سكالي بركات بهوا اكو ياكن نامن افاكن دايا. اكو سوده ممبوات كفوتوسن. اكن كو جوبا سدايا اوفايا. اكن كو اوساهاكن فرهوبونعان ايني سبلوم اكو منعاكو كاله. اكو بينعونع.
On another note, I feel so exhausted and numb although I can't really understand why. I'm thinking that perhaps the fact that school is starting again plays a huge part in bringing about my semi depressed comatose state. The personal side of things is... €%£¥%
Maybe you're both right and I am over thinking.
I can't help being a girl sometimes.
>1:44 AM
I was typing a colourful entry about F going mia.
And suddenly got a call from him.
So, J, see, I told you he likes me better.
HAHA
>11:47 PM
So I turned a year older today.
No matter what they say about age is just a number, it still feels horrible to be adding a year to the number.
Not that I like to take photos of myself. but how is it possible that I grew so much older in a year?
I took my new shoes out for a test drive and I don't think they performed up to expectation. I know I can't wear pointy toes but I was hoping this would be different.
Apparently, I was wrong.
Safe to say that I'll stay away from chocolate for the month, thanks to this week.
Cuddled up in a blanket, Bec turned her head to look at me and said, "I think I'm gonna fall asleep anytime now. Thanks for everything, and happy birthday!" She smiled and her smile got swallowed by the yawn that came soon after.
I got a call at midnight, and it wasn't a birthday wish.
"Khad," came L's hesitant voice over the phone, "Bec wants me to tell you that she can't make it for your birthday dinner tomorrow ...."
I just stayed silent. Waiting for the reason that was to come. I was getting prepared to get angry but then she continued, reluctantly.
"She... uh, she ran away from home." L finished weakly.
Then she passed the phone to Bec who explained that she would like to spend some time with me (to make up for missing my birthday dinner) before sleeping at my void deck.
"WHAT. NO. You're coming home with me. Stay there, I'll come pick you up," I said, "My mum will kill me for letting you sleep in the void deck."
Needless to say, it turned into an impromptu slumber party where we stayed up half the night to dish a years worth of gossip. And woke up early in the morning to make our way to Macs for breakfast.
Honestly, I think I secretly relished the turn of events. And it made for a truly special albeit a little overdramatic birthday.
>3:46 PM
Okay. So I should just come out and admit it.
I think I'm in trouble. I tried to recite the arabic alphabet just now and could not get past the 5th letter.
How does it explain the fact that I can read words and sentences and recite them but cannot remember the sequence of the basic letters?
I felt curious, and checked out the greek version, which actually has many similarities in pronounciation with the arabic alphabet and the roman one.
And then I realised that I already know many of these letters thanks to memorising physics formulae.
>12:44 AM
I've found a new way to annoy.
Hopefully it comes out right.
Translate does not work on this. Yay!
اخرني رسكنله آفا ينك كو رس.
منكن دنعن خر بكن اكو دفت كتنعن يع اكو جاري.
>12:27 AM
A couple of days ago, I peeked out the kitchen window and saw my neighborhood on fire! Well, not literally although I would not have minded adding a bit more drama to the estate.
I mean, why wouldn't CC have a bonfire, when we've had serial rapists, murders, infinite number of suicides, drug dealers and drunken brawls once every 2 days. Actually, with the exception of the first 2, I've seen it all in this neighborhood of mine. But a bonfire, I've yet to experience.
It obviously wasn't something dramatic enough to warrant my unreasonable adrenaline surge but it was quite exciting to see fireworks blooming right in front of your kitchen window.
Apparently it was Christmas and CC residents deserved our own brand of celebration. Funny how it's all quiet on new years though.
Oh but I did hear glass breaking from the coffee shop downstairs and a few drunks raising voices. Unfortunately, it didn't even break out into a brawl. It was, basically an uneventful countdown this year.
I guess it is also time to reflect on this past year.
2010 was a time of growing up. It marked the severance of my ties to my clingy teenage years. I learnt to separate the important from the irrelevant and I learnt how to put trust in others without tearing myself apart at the end. That is, by not trusting in the first place.
I would like to think I've become a better person but I think I just became softer. Weaker. There had been too many times when I questioned myself because I could hardly recognize the person I've become. Along the way, I lost my backbone and also the strong trust I had in myself and my own abilities.. I learnt to put trust in others, that was true, but I didn't realize the imbalance I created within me.
By trusting more in others, I began to trust myself less.
Towards the end, I realised that I can't have it both ways. I was always meant to fly solo. Call it arrogance or denial, but looking at this year has taught me that perhaps, I fare better alone.
I already thought up my resolutions and started acting on them a couple of months ago. They're simple, yet, surprisingly difficult to continue.
All I hope for is that I still retain a modicum of sanity and compassion at the end of it all. Somehow it feels numb but I know I'm steadily losing touch with humanity. Perhaps the Great Indifference of '07 is making a comeback.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Although why growing older should be a happy occasion, I can never understand.
Libellés : newyear
>2:48 AM