bang BANG.

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bang; BANG; boom;

Not all murders have a motive
This one certainly didn't

We've reached the end of the road
Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for the ride

vendredi, mai 27, 2005

the girl got her report book today. she did not feel anything, because she did well this term, or so she thought...

when she received it, she walked slowly back to her place, 'something is not right', she thought. she dint take a single peep at the slip in her hand until she sat down. and then she looked.....
how she felt like tearing the paper in 2! no one would know but the girl! she was utterly disappointed to the point of speechless. she couldnt explain her feelings. she thought she felt like crying, but then again, she's sure its more like anger. she couldnt decide.

how could it be? when she passed chemistry this term, her overall marks failed to see her through the line? that is impossible, she tried so hard. she studied so freaking hard. onli to find that she failed, again. how could it be that when she got a1 for amaths this term, it suddenly became c5?

after school, she called her mum and struck a deal with her: her mum promised not to say anything about her results because the point is that she improved.

she felt horrible but her friends around her were all laughing and smiling. she doesnt understand. she used to be like that once, ignored the fact that she was disappointed. she rarely showed what she felt or thought. its a bad habit since young. but today, she went against her own nature, she refused to be fake on this particular day. she left early for home. desperately trying to cheer her spirits, she tried the chemical way: chocolates. she bought a bottle of coke(caffeine) and chocolates. sure enough, she felt better, but the after effects were a horrible strain on her.. she felt even more fake. she's smiling but is she happy?

she feels spent. she doesnt know what that means but she feels that her efforts were useless. it certainly showed no signs of improvement. she wonders if she still can achieve the dreams her father had drawn for her more than ten years ago. she wonders of she can still do her mum proud. last of all, she wonders, if she can stop hating herself and move on with her life.

note to the girl: life is not about what u achieve but how u achieve it. its the journey that counts, not the result.

>10:14 PM

mardi, mai 24, 2005

hey,

she got a shock today. during amaths, her amaths teacher, mrs geh, announced that she is quitting! the whole class was shocked! she cant just leave like that, in the middle of the year! but she said that she'll fulfill her commitments and see her amaths sec4 students through till after o-levels. but she dropped her title as level co-ordinator and discipline mistress. she was coming back as relief teacher but that is if the school committee allowed her to do so.

naturally, it doesnt affect her. she doesnt mind whatever it is, she cant be bothered. to her, its the same. she still has tuition to back up on anyway.

>6:53 PM

samedi, mai 07, 2005

today is saturday,

she woke up aching and her head felt like it weighed a ton but at least her fever was gone, she thought. she took a super hot shower and got ready to go for her piano lesson. as usual, she was dreading it but at least this week, she practised a bit. she doesnt understand why her piano teacher is trying to get her to practise 5 pieces every week, despite the fact that she was taking her o levels this year. her piano teacher is nice so it doesnt make sense why this girl hates her piano teacher a lot. however, it doesnt make sense either that her piano teacher was forcing her to practise impossible number of pieces irregardless of how simple or difficult they are.

when she packed her back, she realised, she FORGOT TO POST HER MOM'S LETTER!!! it was 1 week overdue already!!! and horrors of all horrors, it was addressed to the ministry of education!!! she felt utterly guilty for that as she realised that the letter must be something of great importance.

during her piano lesson, she realised that, no, she wasnt getting better after all. her head was throbbing as though a massive earthquake had struck tiny little singapore AND YET, her piano teacher forced her to play, using an uncountable number of brain neurones, which needed energy to work and one needs food for energy and the last meal this girl ate was expired maggi from shirin's house for lunch the previous day!!

when she reached home, she hit the bed, but she still couldnt get herself to sleep. she was telling herself, dammit, i need to sleep to get better but to no avail. however, after 2 more panadols, she slept, anyway. she was seriously getting reliant on panadols again. in one week, she has already finished one pack of ten tablets, on her own.

but this girl was just not meant to get well. barely one hour later, she was awoken by shu yi calling. darn, she thought, cip!! she had to do 3hours of flag day under the hot sun but all for a good cause, though. it was for an orphanage. she was thinking, she better do the best for this organisation cos she may end up in there one day.................... if her mom.......................... she doesnt want to think about it..................

so then, she's back home and her mom is taking them all out, for dinner at swensen's!! oh man, she cursed, she wont be able to enjoy her banana's split!

she is so looking forward to dinner.......................................... despite being unable to taste due to the freaking flu she caught............................

>7:15 PM